HELL (Growler): The adamantine gates creaked open and workers let our a collective groan as the Realm of Hell opened its gates for business under an historic free trade treaty with the Realms of Heaven and Purgatory.

Under the treaty, Hell will be able to capitalize on its market leader position in the arts and entertainment industry, enjoy access to the most advanced technology from Purgatory, and will be able to tap into Heaven's burgeoning biotech industry.

However, not everybody was celebrating this landmark event. Residents of Hell showed little enthusiasm for the treaty as it is expected to increase their (unpaid) 140-hour work week by an average of 20 hours. "This sucks," complained one worker, who was immediately shackled and set ablaze from his extremities.